The dictionary of swinging a.k.a the common terms that swingers use

Here is a list of most common terms used in the swinger’s communities. Do let me know if you come across any other terms might be added:

• Soft Swinging: In this form lots of couples/swingers are having sex in the same room but strictly with their own partners.
  
  
• Exhibitionism: Exhibitionism involves couples having sex while being watched by their partners. These are always the fantasies of every couple before the venture into swinging.
  
  
• Soft swap: Couples doing a soft swap usually just kiss, touch, watch, and perform oral sex. They indulge in sexual intercourse. This is generally encouraged fro couples who are new and are still exploring. Personally I feel that soft swap can be most satisfying and enjoyable if you know the art of erotica well. Sometimes even for experienced swingers soft swap provide a more enjoyable experience then full fledged intercourse.
  
  
• Full swap: Full swap involves couples switching partners and then having sexual intercourse.
  
  
• Group sex. Group sex is about couples having sex with more than one couple. This according to me is swinging in its purest form. This is where you rise above everything else (race, color, looks, age) and just enjoy joys of sex and feel the ecstasy that can be only matched by divine bliss.
  

Don’t believe everything you read…….

A couple of days back I came across an article in a reputed national daily about a swinger’s party and even though I am a swinger myself I was shocked to see the drooping standards of media. That newspapers had been turned into tabloids is now a generally accepted fact but they would resort to such tricks to attract more readers shows clearly that they have run short of ideas. So as a last resort the editor tells the journalist to come up with some sexually titillating content and the journalist sits down and starts thinking …and viola…he comes with a brilliant idea…the idea which he has been always fantasizing of and he beings to pen his fantasies as if everything really happened. And naturally this is something which has been a part everyone’s fantasies at some point or the other so it becomes an instant hit. This reminds me of a word that I leant form the book “Word Power Made Easy (a book which most of us would have read) – Vicarious. And obviously the journalist also remembered this word well and very shrewdly wrote an article which made the masses indulge in vicarious pleasures.

But why am I writing so strongly against such an innocuous looking report. Because it is anything but innocuous. When people read these kinds of articles they say “Well it was not only me who was thinking of these kinds of things. These things do happen and people enjoy them too”. Now the gap between fantasy and realty blurs and it starts looking like a very normal thing to do. The feeling of being vindicated rules supreme you and you can hear them saying this to their spouses “See this is not only me. Everyone seems to be doing it and enjoying it.” . And suddenly they begin to hear wife swapping stories from everywhere…..from their friends….from their relatives and the desire to try it becomes even stronger and this is where the problem starts. They jump into swinging, encouraged by the stories they hear but only end up having a very bad experience. The point I am trying to make that such stories would always do rounds in the press, in your social circles, in offices etc as they have that sexually titillating effect. Everyone like to talk about them as it gives them that mild erotic pleasure……But we need to remember that no all what we hear is true. And the truth is :

SWINGING IS ABOUT A LIFE STYLE. It can begin as an experiment but can not be an enjoyable experience if you are unable to adapt it as an alternate lifestyle. Genuine swingers are generally very sure and open about their sexuality. Relationships can go bitter over the issues of sexuality so the real swingers are generally very sure as to what they want and what they don’t want. And the most important part is swinger community is a very sensitive community. Swingers Community would collapse if they don’t respect the concerns and sensitivities of others so they never go around spreading stories.

Zorba the Buddha and the freedom to make your own sexual choices

While doing some general reading here and there I came across this quote of Osho “Only a fulfilled tree will flower.” And I immediately connected it to sexual fulfillment and began thinking about it. To the scientific mind the statement would look so obvious but the problem is that we are imposed so many moralities by the societies we live in that we get blinded and fail to see this obvious scientific truth. We are today living in duality where we are continuously trying to suppress our real self. We do what were expected to do and not what our heart wants us to do. So in a way we have ourselves caged our souls in a fictitious world that the society has created for us and we continue to live our lives with masks on, a mask that is representative of our bondage. So the question I ask is that can someone who does not even have the freedom to make his own choices be termed as progressive? If a man can not be brave enough to make his own choices then how is he going to fight for the greater good?

Wife Swapping - The start of the end of a relationship

You would be hearing wife swapping stories daily and they are the most read stories on the internet. One time or the other every man would have fantasized about wife swapping but this is where it should stop – just at pure fantasy. Studies have revealed that wife swapping can most of the times destroy relationships more than it builds it. Many claim that wife swapping increases the trust between couples and brings them more because of the very fact that they can share their fantasies openly with their partners. Let’s look at some facts that would bring out clearly a strong case against wife swapping

• Its’ never Mutual. Studies say that in 80 percent of the cases men talk their better halves into it. So women who might be averse to the idea become comfortable with the fact with the passage of time.
  
  
• What if he performed better than me? Well look at the internet sales of certain kind medicines and you would understand what I am talking about. Men are so concerned about the sexual performance that it becomes like an obsession with them. So when you take a stranger to your bedroom and your wife acknowledges the fact that she had good sex with him, all kinds of insecurities start creeping in. Men who were the first so keen about the whole thing start feeling insecure and this kind of insecurity can wreck any relationship.
  
  
• Everyone’s sexual preferences should be respected: Let’s face it. No two people are the same when it comes to sexual preferences. When men go for wife swapping they don’t really give their wives any choice. Whether they like it or not they have to end up doing sex against their wishes. It is more like forced sex but which women are generally happy to do for the love of their hubbies.
  

So these are just a few points I made against wife swapping and the truth remains that most couples feel emotionally wrecked after their first swapping experience.

So does that mean that you do not enjoy the ecstasy that you feel after a satisfying sexual encounter with a stranger? NO Certainly Not. This is where SWINGIING PARTIES(sex parties) comes to the rescue. The very nature of swinging ensures that the after effects of any sexual encounter are minimum and the end result is a memorable experience. First of all you don’t take any stranger in to you bedroom, you go to swinger parties and socialize with lots of couples. You are not necessarily under pressure to have sex but you can enoy watching other souls perform the act of sex. Couples and more specifically women can make all the choices. Just because the wife is having sex with someone does not ensure that a man would also having sex with someone :-) And if a man goes in with this knowledge you can be sure that he respects the choices of his wife and that he is mature enough that he wont be effected by any kind of side effect. One more important fact about swing parties is that every activity is happening in the open so for going and becoming a part of that party needs a lots mental preparation and when when you end up in such party you know that you are sure of what you are doing!!!!!!!!

And the last point and that is most important is that that group dynamism(seeing so many people having sex and even group sex) creates such an exhilarating ambience that you feel that it’s a wild party going on and that you must also take part in the festivities and celebrations!!!!!